What is fear?
by thatrandomstoryteller
Summary: Cosima has been scared many times before, but right now she's terrified and only Delphine can calm her
1. Chapter 1

**This is where my imagination took me, Characters are not mine nor is Orphan Black**

Cosima POV.

Panic attacks are episodes of intense fear or apprehension, when someone is stressed their sympathetic nervous system kicks in and prepares them for action by releasing energy

Then the parasympathetic nervous system steps in, and the body stabilizes to a calmer state. If the parasympathetic nervous system is somehow unable to do its job, a person will remain fired up and may experience the heightened arousal characteristic of a panic attack.

That is what is happening right now. My amygdala is hyperactive and that doesn't help seeing as it fear centre of my brain.

Sure there are times in my life when I have been scared for instance; when I was a child I climbed a tree in my back yard because I thought I had come up with a theory which would allow me to fly, but when i got to the highest peak of the tree I had an overwhelming feeling of panic and froze.. for hours I was stuck in the tree until my mother wondered where I was, and she got me down because that is what parents do, they help you when your scared.

When Helena decided to do a hit list of clones that scared me because she was an unreasonable person, at the time, who would shoot you down like a dog and not even flinch.. but she has changed because that is what people do, they change. They have too, evolution has proven that.

But all those event of panic and fear, even those added together would not out weigh the feeling of fear i have right now, I'm terrified too say the least.

''Ma Cherie you will be fine'' She whispers to me as I try and compose myself ''You will not hurt him''

''How can you be so sure?'' I ask my wife as i stare down at our son who is mearly an hour old, With his mothers features but my dark hair.

My son, who will look up at me for the rest of his life hoping to fine unconditional love and shelter from whatever life will throw at him, who will ask me all his questions and wonders of the world and expect answers, who will see me as a person he can trust and how he call call home

and he will, he can. Everything he will want or need in life I will do my best to give it too him because I am him mother and that is what mothers do, they provide for their children even if they have to go without

''I thought the love i had for you would drive me crazy Delph, but this little dude I have in my arms right now might just drive me insane''

''I know the feeling cherie, I feel it too'' She murmurs against my forehead, and that is what he will need the most, Love. A simple emotion but he will feel it everyday for his life

''I just realised a similarity between me and Jacques''

''And what is that Cosima?''

''We both started life in a test tube'' I say with a laugh.


	2. Chapter 2

**Characters are not mine nor is Orphan Black, all mistakes are my own**

Cosima POV.

_Oh god something is wrong, I don't know what to do, Where is Delphine I rang her like ten minutes ago she should be here by now.. why isn't she here?!_

''Cosima! What's the matter? Where is he?!'' Delphine asks bursting through the doors of the emergency room, looking flushed in the face like she had just ran a marathon or something

''They took him into that room, He was fine running around and being a normal toddler and then he was crying and it wasn't a good cry you know? it was like a pained cry so I try and calm him down see what's wrong but he wouldn't stop and so I brought him here''

''W-Where was he playing? before he came crying?'' she asks clearly flustered rightfully so any mother would if they had their partner calling them telling them to come to the hospital as soon as they could

''The garden, on his bike.. the bike Sarah got him the one I say looked like a death trap but you insisted was fine, god why did we even keep it or take the freaking stabilisers off!''

''Cosima I'm sure he will be fine Ma Cherie, he's a tough child he will be okay'' She says pulling me closer and holding me close ''He'll be okay'' she whispers

''Mrs. Neihaus?'' Someone announces and we both turn around in record time ''Hi I'm Doctor Fields, your son is fine It's just a hairline fracutre to his wrist but he is in a lot of pain so we gave him some meds that have made him sleepy, but he's all slinged up and ready for you to take im home if you'd like?'' He finishes

''Yeah Totally'' walking into the room my heart breaks a little seeing Jacques red eyes from obvious crying, and his arm is sporting a white Sling, he looks at me raising his one hand signalling that he wants to be picked up and so I do, Delphine is finishing off some paper work while I get his things together

Walking out of the hospital with my son on my hip sleeping soundly and my wife at my side, th feeling of fear that i didn't even realise was there starts to calm down

''As soon as we get home, that bike is going''

''Okay Ma Cherie, the bike can go.. maybe we can get him a tricycle instead that seems safer qui?''

''I'll think about it, we can talk about it later on'' I say closing the car door.


End file.
